In Which Monday Menu Mayhem Works Well With Others

What an exciting weekend this was, friends.

That most elegant of elegant ladies, the lovely Dame de Laliberte came to Scout Camp to shake things up (and to help me deal with a dangerous overabundance of chardonnay).  As a result of this meeting of the minds (and the Cougar Town lovefest that followed) the Menu was not only Mayhemic, but chock-a-block filled with Nigella goodness.

Saturday tea (yes, dammit, we had tea... followed by apéritifs, natch) began with Pigs in a Blanket, which Nigella called Franks and Blanks, and so they shall henceforth be known.  Behold:

The awesomesauce of this recipe is indeed... awesome sauce.  The recipe didn't call for exactly equal parts dijon mustard, honey mustard, and sour cream, but that's what it ended up with.  I liked the puff pastry blankets, too (as opposed to the more biscuit-y blankets of my youth)-- they were light and crunchy and they hit the spot.

Cocktails (kir royales, duh) were followed by a simply superb meal of Nigella's Taragon Chicken, and Lady Lib's own home-made, hand cut pasta, and grilled asparagus:

In this one you brown the chicken and some scallions in the pan, and then cook them in vermouth and taragon in the oven.  Add some cream at the end to form a nice sauce, and you're good to go.  I have to say that I'm not normally a fan of taragon (no licorice for me, thanks), but the flavors in this dish simply cannot be denied.

And honestly, I never thought it could be so easy to make pasta.  Sure it's a long process, but my goodness, the results are well worth it.

(Those curious will note that I made the chicken, La Lalib made the pasta, and Boy Scout grilled the asparagus.  TEAM WORK, PEOPLE)

And so I thank you, my darling Lady Liberty, for shedding your light on our humble kitchen, and for leaving it a better (if messier) place than it had been before.

I'm just kidding.  It's always that messy.

In Which Thoroughly Obsessed Thursday Loves Gwyneth.

Confession time:  Gwyneth Paltrow is among my life-gurus.

I know it's dumb, and more than a little lame, but I simply can't help myself.  I've been a GOOP subscriber pretty much since its inception (it started as a sheer-curiosity, "WTF is she going to write about every week?" thing) and the more I read, the more I love her.

I re-emphasize that I know this is lame.

Here's what I like: she's a foodie.  And she readily admits she's imperfect.  And her life-motto, the one quoted in her new book (the main object of my obsession) speaks to me on a number of levels:

Invest in what's real.  Clean as you go.  Drink while you cook.  Make it fun.  It doesn't have to be complicated.  It will be what it will be.

This is the kind of chill philosophy with which I can get down.

Gwyneth imparts life-tips every week, and this is something you have to take with a HUGE grain of salt.  Like really, a huge one.  A couple of weeks ago she wrote a column about being a working mom and how crazy life can be.  People immediately jumped on the fact that she is a millionaire, and that part of her life-busy-ness is that she takes an hour and a half to work out every day.  You know what, though?  I don't really have energy to take issue with that.  She wasn't saying "everyone should be like me all the time," she was sharing tips for life organization, and using her own life to provide examples.

But whatever.

In any event, Gwynnie was on the cover of Vogue last year (August?) and it mentioned that she was coming out with a cookbook.  I pretty much freaked out and pre-ordered it right then and there.  When My Father's Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness came to my door this week, I sat down and read it cover to cover, stopping only to be polite enough to speak to my family during dinner.

(Those familiar with Gwyneth's food-and-family philosophy will find this painfully ironic)

I'm learning that there is such a thing as duck bacon (ohholyhell, and where can I get some?!), and about things like agave and spelt flour.  I'm not sure I'm going to have a complete diet renaissance, but the presentation of these hippy-ish things is such that I'm intrigued.  And that's really cool.

So yeah, run to the library or to the book store, and check this book out.  And if you feel like it, subscribe to GOOP.  It's not always awesome (this week's fashion issue was not something that spoke to me at all), but usually there is a little slice of inspiration that gives a new perspective.

And that's OK with me.

In Which I Review To Seduce A Sinner

It took me a really long time to get in to this book.

Like, a really really, week-long, 100-page long time.

Melisande Fleming has been pining after Lord Vale for years, and when he is jilted at the altar for the second time in the span of a year, she seizes the moment and asks him to marry her.  And because this is his second time being jilted in a year, Vale says "yes."

And that's basically it.  I mean, it's really really not, but that was my problem for 100 pages.  The perspective was very limited, and I was irritated.  However, unlike in the last such book I read, the perspective in this book genuinely did open up and take me in.

Vale is a war vet, having served in the British Army during the French and Indian War (side note: I think this might be the first Colonial period novel I have ever read), and he has a little (read: a lot) PTSD.  His unit was sold out and captured and tortured by Native Americans.  This could have been really tricky (stereotypes much??) but there's a good dose of cultural relativism delivered by the man most brutally tortured during the captivity:

I've studied it since.  It's their way of dealing with prisoners of war.  They torture them... Just as we hang small boys by the neck for picking a grown man's pocket.  It's simply their way.

The Duke spends a great deal of the book obsessed; obsessed with finding out who sold out his regiment, and obsessed with finding out what makes his new wife tick.

Yes, his new wife.  Melisande is awesome in a number of ways, but it's mostly her strength that is appealing.  She's in love with this dude who buys her earrings because he hasn't taken the time to notice that her ears aren't pierced, and she never whines or indulges in self-pity.  She's had her heart pretty badly broken in a previous relationship and still has the courage to ask the man who has the most power to damage her to marry her.  She honestly doesn't give a damn when she runs in to another lord's mistress in the park, talking to her and her children openly and warmly.  Melisande just keeps showing up, hoping (not naively) that everything is going to get a little better every day.  She takes her life into her own hands and doesn't hold anyone else responsible for her happiness.

She also has the patience not to freak the eff out every time Vale is a douche.  And Vale is a douche a lot of the time.  Melisande comes to this book fully formed and developed, all we do is see what all of that means.  Vale grows, though, from a rake who can't remember the names of all of the women he's bedded who literally can't think of anything but getting justice for this fallen comrades, to a man thoroughly and honestly devoted to his wife.

We begin the book knowing that Vale had a horrific experience in the Colonies, and knowing that Melisande had a relationship that went very, very wrong.  In the end, though, we know all of the pertinent information.  We just find it out when the other characters do.  I like that.  That's how the limited perspective thing should work.

Another side note: Melisande has a terrier named Sir Mouse, who is at once obnoxious and seriously adorable.  As the proud mother of a metabolically-challenged, height impaired beagle, I would like to say that this is the most realistic portrayal of domestic animal behavior that I have read recently.  Possibly ever.

To Seduce A Sinner is the second (?) book in The Legend of the Four Soldiers series, one book obviously set before this one, and one is well on its way by the time this story comes to a close.  Last week I never would have thought I'd end up saying this, but here goes: I'm really excited to read the rest of these books.

In Which Monday Menu Mayhem Loses It (Again).

It is with great pleasure (really, I can't even quantify how much pleasure) that I announce that there is no new Nigella recipe this week.

(Wait for the pleasurable part...)

And it is all Boy Scout's fault.

Wow that feels nice.  For those who don't know, I am to blame for all of Boy Scout's life miseries.  He can't find his pen?  It's clearly my fault (even when I'm in another state).  He can't remember where he parked his car?  It's totally my fault (even when I'm in another state).  The good thing about this is that I am also responsible for the positive stuff, too.  He's deliriously happy?  MY FAULT.  (Right Boy Scout?  You're deliriously happy AND IT'S MY FAULT, RIGHT?!)

But I digress (insert Dramatic Music App faux gasps here).

So it's his fault, but it's one of the "good-thing-faults."  This weekend was the second anniversary of his twenty ninth birthday.  (Like how I did that, honey?)

ANYWAY.  All of the cooking this weekend centered around Favorite Scout Camp Foods, including clam chowder and peanut butter pie.  None of which originate from our bible.

This clam chowder is awesome though, and I say that as a person who is not normally enamored of clam chowder.  Now brace yourself, because it starts with bacon.  Shocking.  Right.  Then you add all the normal stuff, and not too much cream, which is one of my biggest clam chowder complaints-in-life.  Sometimes it's all just a bit much.

Speaking of "a bit much," that exactly describes the peanut butter pie, for which I do not have a handily available recipe.  It used to be called Ann's Peanut Butter Pie (thanks to Auntie Jones), but at this point I think I've made it more than she ever has.  Let's just say there's a stick of butter, a block of cream cheese, and a pint of whipping cream involved.

Yeah.  You're really better off not knowing that when you're eating it.  But it's 100% worth it.

In other news, I might actually finish a book this week!  Start planning the celebrations now.

In Which Thoroughly Obsessed Thursday Goes to Town

That title is a really bad pun.

By now you might (should?) be familiar with my show-watching habits, but let me summarize: I don't watch new shows.  I don't like getting invested in anything that starts airing in September and might not be around in October.  Not to mention the fact that pilots can be insanely awkward and broad, because writers and actors can't get a sense of what a show will become in the span of 22 minutes and a limited budget.

I like to see how things progress.

And I really like to hear what other people have to say.  I talk to my friends (sometimes I should listen to them and take action way sooner... Morrow/Morris girls, I'm looking at you).  I read Facebook Newsfeed statii re: shows others are obsessed with.  I also read Michael Ausiello.

Ausiello and I have been through a lot together.  I'm now reading (on TVLine) the third incarnation of the legendary Ask Ausiello, and considering the fact that I am still in possession of my original TVGuide Ask Ausiello TShirt, I would say I'm a genuine Aushole (this can be taken as either a compliment or an insult, depending on the day or the time).

Aus has never failed me when it comes to show recommending, though I admit Chuck was not nearly as enthralling as I wanted it to be.

OMG WHEN WILL I GET TO THE POINT??

Dear Michael has been talking of little else than Cougar Town.  OK.  That's a lie.  But it's definitely on his "I'mobsessedwiththisshowandeveryoneelseneedstobetoo" list.

And now it's on mine.

This obsession is about 3 weeks long now, starting with the purchase (and subsequent marathon) of season one followed closely by the iTunes season pass purchase (and subsequent marathon) of season two.

Boy Scout and La Dame Laliberte are also hooked thanks to my rantings and ravings.  And also my insistently putting it in front of them all the time.

Cougar Town sounds awful (really awful), but it's not: Courteney Cox's Jules Cobb is a real estate agent who finds herself aged 40, divorced, and about to send her only son off to college.  What's a red wine drinkin' gal to do?  Settle in with a motley crue of best friend neighbors, crazy white trash assistant, and semi-normal (but also really weird) divorcé across-the-street-neighbor.  Hijinks ensue.  And with all of these crazy big personalities running around, there are hijinks aplenty.

The first few eps are indeed awkward: you can tell watching that the showrunners were trying to find the correct tone.  For a little bit, the show is exactly what the title indicates, and that is a tale about a sexy middle-aged woman dating younger men in order to recapture her youth.

What the show evolves in to, though, is an absolutely hilarious examination of family, friends, and relationships.  With wine.

La Lalib and I have developed a new philosophical stance: WWJAED, which means What Would Jules and Ellie (her best friend) Do?  I plan on living the rest of my life with these guidelines.

In Which We Get Monday Menu Mayhem Back on Track.

OMG, friends.  I had time this weekend.  Not a lot of time, but time to read, time to knit, time to cook.  No telling how long this will last.  Or what it's going to do for my mental sanity.

Firstly there was the Guinness Cupcakes with Bailey's Buttercream Frosting and Chocolate Whisky Ganache.  That wasn't a Nigella recipe, but damn were they good.  Like, Boy Scout and I ate at least two at every sitting.  So actually, they were very, very bad.

Back to the point.  This week's Nigella recipe was called Barbecue Beef, though honestly, I'm going to call them Nigella's Sloppy Joes for the rest of life.  I mean, what else would you call this?

What I really like about this recipe is how sneaky healthy it is: you start by processing celery, carrots, onions, and garlic.  OK fine... and bacon too.  Then you chuck the mush in the pot, add some brown sugar, the beef, and a mixture of canned tomatoes, tomato paste, bourbon, Worcestsershire sauce, and more brown sugar.

The result is super delicious and flavorful, without being too wet.  Don't get me wrong, it's still a PITA to eat (forks and knives, children), but it lacks the heavy, syrupy sweetness of the canned equivalent.  And while it is all from-scratch and stuff, it only took about a half an hour to make over all, and it was super easy.

Definitely going on the "to be made again" list.  For reals.

In Which Thoroughly Obsessed Thursday Loves the Muppets

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!  In honor of the day (and because everything is better with The Muppets), we have a video!



And let me just say, it's all about Animal.
Enjoy!