Dear Kate:

You are an inspiration!I am humbled. While you manage to get your WriMo ass moving, I am stuck in readers paradise. I got the latest JD Robb book in the mail yesterday. As if WriMo wasn't difficult enough, now I have to share my writing time with my reading time (and I even started knitting again!)! Yowza!

Okay, so I read those Tessa Dare books that you made me read - and then I mailed the latest one to you. Thanks for the push. I did enjoy them and they were very easy and comfortable reads. Like wearing old slippers with new soles. The characters were fresh, the heroes believable (if a bit dominating) and the heroines were not too prissy!

Now I have to get into my Eve Dallas mindset. Ready to absorb the intricacies of being a famous NYC cop of the future, married to the richest man in the known universe. Your grandfather is already asking me if I have finished it... we soak them up! Will get back to you, when I have finished, to let you know what I thought!

Hugs and kisses, Wendy Pan

National Novel Writing Month (OR: Why I Might Be Writing Nonsense in this Blog for a While)

So National Novel Writing Month has started once again, and once again I am testing my sanity (and creative abilities) to see if I can write 50,000 words in a month.

So far, I'm 1/25 of the way through, and I'm feeling pretty good. But ask me about it again in a week.

I'm working with an idea I started toying with last year at about this same time; I remember it really coming together on the ride from San Diego to San Francisco to see my cousin for Thanksgiving. I honestly haven't given it much thought since then, and 2,000 words in, it's already very different from what I originally had planned. We'll see what happens.

In the spirit of the paranormal age, I'm aiming for something with a paranormal bent, but grounded in the real world. Should be fun, right? Yeah, well we'll see.

I might need to use this as a forum to write through some ideas and philosophies, so be ready. There's a lot more rambling to come.

Discussion- Deep Kiss of Winter (Just the Kresley Cole one)

When I say I have been waiting over a year and a half for this book, it is not in any way shape or form an exaggeration. This book (story?) was supposed to come out in January 2008, and I definitely had it pre-ordered before that. Publishing snafu, publishing snafu, publishing snafu...

Here we are.

There is an inherent problem in releasing this book so late: it takes place straddling all of the books that have come out in the interim (there are four of them!) which makes it occasionally confusing. Actually, it pretty much straddles all of the books in the series.

Which makes it feel way behind the times.

I refuse to blame the author-- I don't think this is the order in which she would have chosen to release them. But when the heroine, Danii, "passes by" Emmaline's room at Val Hall it's jarring-- in real time, Emma's book came out in the Fall of 2006. In other words, in my head, she's already been out of Val Hall for over three years.

But this is neither here nor there. Danii and Murdoch's book has really been in the wings since Dark Needs at Night's Edge, Conrad Wroth's book, when we really get to know Murdoch and realize that he has indeed been blooded. We just don't know whowhatwhenwhyhow. In terms of the story, I wish a lot of the interpersonal conflict had been minimized-- it's bad enough that she's ice fey and they can't touch, do we really need his commitment issues, too?-- on the other hand, with so many paranormal peeps running around and hook-line-and-sinkering for their "fated one" in 2.5 seconds, it's nice to see a more realistic take. Go on, soak up the irony. I'll wait.

Now, a word about the series as a whole: I'm nervous. In the beginning, Cole all but presented a list of the people who were going to have their own books, and those numbers are rapidly dwindling. In fact, with the release of Garreth and Lucia's book in January, we've officially run down the roster. I can see a book for Kristoff in the future (maybe with one of the Wroth sisters once they're brought forth?) but I have a serious concern that she's going to start making people up for the sake of giving them books. I love all of the people in these stories, and I'm not sure I care about any other peripheral characters enough to want their stories too.

Regin would be a disaster.

Nix is too crazy to settle down.

The demon mercenaries are too generic. (I might make an exception for Desh... maybe)

I don't want a story set in Icegard, so there goes the dude Danii just handed her crown to.

And this is problematic, because for all of these books, the Accession has been looming, and right now it hasn't even started yet. I'm not sure exactly who the bad guys are (the split Horde?), and it does seem that everyone is on the same side at this point. So... where's the battle? And are we going to get to see all of our favorite badass characters on the front line? (Personally, I would pay good money for a second Conrad and Neomi book. They would rock the socks off the front line.)

I have implicit trust in Kresley Cole-- she's only delivered what I would consider to be two lackluster books, and I can blame myself for that opinion. The first one was never going to live up to my expectations, and the second one I really didn't care about the character. So for the moment I'm going to be thankful to have finally read Danii and Murdoch's story, and I am going to get pumped for Garreth and Lucia. Because I do love me some Lykae in the morning.

On Behalf of a Friend...

We read this.

And so we help, by mentioning a new phenomenon: chachbag.

Thanks for playing.

Review- Tempt Me At Twilight

It's taken me a while to write this review, much in the same way it took me a while to actually read the latest entry in Lisa Kleypas' historical collection.

Confession time: As much as I adore Kleypas' new foray into contemporaries, I have found her historicals of late to be hit-or-miss. I haven't read all of the Hathaways, but I enjoyed Win's book (who wouldn't with an uber-hunk like Merripen?) and I am very, very much looking forward to Leo's book, especially with this cliffhanger. But more on that later.

In the way that Goddess of the Hunt took historical romance standards and kept them fresh, Tempt Me At Twilight comes dangerously close to retreading old territory. Poppy Hathaway is madly in love with a man who is keeping their relationship on the DL until he can find the right time to break the news to his father. You see, the Hathaways, even in "this day in age" are considered new money and not nearly haut-ton enough for some.

Enter ubersexydangerous hotelier Harry Rutledge who takes one look (well, maybe two) at Poppy and decides he has to have her. He ruins the relationship, compromises Poppy, and has her at the altar almost before she can blink.

Unfortunately the newlyweds don't have any time for happiness before she finds out what he's done-- in fact, her beau shows up before the ceremony to unmask Rutledge's dastardly deeds-- and a seemingly endless amount of time is spent before she decides to get over it and he decides to apologize and try to be an acceptable human being.

It's strange how Rutledge goes from ruthless collector (there's really no other word for it) to hopelessly in love with the heroine. Sure she's charming and lovely and why wouldn't he? But things turn around for both of them a bit abruptly. And I'm sorry, but the kidnapping incident at the end can be described as nothing but an obvious attempt to reinforce the reconciliation. The person who is kidnapped and the person who did it don't even make that much sense in terms of story relevance.

Now, a moment: In the past two books, there has been a sparky interaction tinged with inevitability between Leo Hathaway (de facto pater familias) and Poppy and Beatrix's chaperone, Miss Marks. Heaps of progress was made between the two in this book -- she's not so plain when you look closely! she's an actual human being, not a dragon lady!-- that can only mean that the next book is theirs. I would have been happy enough with their progress had the last paragraphs of the book not had Leo tracking Marks through Ramsay House to corner her:

"Struggling for self-discipline, Leo took a deep, steadying breath. 'Cat... we have to talk about what happened.'"

WHAT HAPPENED?? Because I officially can't wait to find out.

Rating:
Plot- .5 (done done done done done)
Characters- 1 (even with main character inconsistency, it was nice to see everyone again)
Sex- 1 (standard, hot Kleypas)
Style- .75
Consumption- .75 (sorry, but it took me a while to jump in)

TOTAL: 4

Review- Goddess of the Hunt

It's got to be hard, at this point, to come up with a fresh idea for a historical romance novel. It's the oldest sub-genre within the genre, and there is only so much one can do with Medieval castles, pirates, and Regency ballrooms.

So what's to be done? Take the familiar things and make them better, fresher, and seriously improved.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Tessa Dare, and Goddess of the Hunt.

No, it's not an original story: Jeremy falls for Lucy, his best friend's sister, after she tries to seduce him as "practice" for another one of their friends. Following? Naturally the Jeremy and Lucy are caught in a compromising position, and even though they both want to be together, conflicts arise to keep them unhappy in the early stages of their marriage. Something Happens, they are reunited, HEA and offspring ensue.

Sounds familiar, yeah? (Note: If it doesn't sound familiar, either A. you have never read a historical romance novel or B. I did a terrible job of explaining. You make the call)

The difference between Goddess of the Hunt and every other book with this plotline lies in the writing and delivery. First of all, most of the story is from his perspective, as opposed to her swoony and annoying one. He's a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal to be sure, but he never hauls off and assumes she's a slut; in fact, he never gets more than seethingly jealous whenever Lucy mentions his friend.

It would have been so easy for Dare to make Jeremy a stereotype: there is one point in particular when Lucy is left alone with the friend, that is a clear demarcation between the novels of yore and the novels of... nore. Twenty years ago Jeremy would have assumed that Lucy and Toby had slept together, then he would have slept with her (read: raped her) out of anger, only to discover her virginity intact after it was too late. Then he would have left out of guilt, and they would have spent the whole book apart recovering from their own mis-assumptions.

There is a minor instance of mis-assuming, but it's not dire, and is more-or-less acceptable. It's resolved in a reasonable time for us to enjoy our hero and heroine together, and lets us have some fun make-up sex.

Surrender of a Siren is the next book in the series (its heroine is the irresistably charming Lady Sophia), and I can't wait.

Rating:
Plot- 1 (it's been done, but rarely so well)
Characters- 1- (Loved everyone, but Lucy was occasionally annoying)
Sex- 1 (Hot. No other word for it)
Style- 1
Consumption- 1

TOTAL- 5-

Wow. Talk About a Throw-Down.

For those who missed it, here is La Laliberte's scathing challenge, issued in response to my Heartless post:

You may chide my trash ignorance, but I assumed that was something of an epidemic, not only within one author's "oeuvre", shall we say, but even spilling over into others. For example, how many romances have I read? Two. You probably even know which ones, I'll give you a second to think. Yes, you're right. All the Queen's Men by Linda Howard and Julie Garwood's The Prize. Now, imagine my surprise when I go to pick up Judith McNaught's Kingdom of Dreams that you left with Aley and all of a sudden the noble Royce has reappeared in all his hunky-hairy-dark-age-hero glory! And he what? Somehow convinces the daughter of his enemy to love him and have steamy sex with him, etc?? Or at least, I would assume that's what happened... I stopped reading after I learned that Nicolaa (pronounced Nee-co-LAAAHHH) had somehow turned into her '80s counterpart... Jennifer. (Jennifer? Really?) So please, give me a good one or I'll give up on the whole genre. In fact, can I offer a discussion topic? THE BOOK you would recommend to convert a neophyte into a romance lover--and don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed The Prize and even All the Queen's Men, but now I need guidance. Help.

Oh, my dearest, darling Lady Liberty. How thrilled we are that you emerged from the Food Service cave to taunt us.

To begin I have to plead no contest to the charge that the first two historical romances you read had heroes named Royce. Not going to explain it, not going to excuse it, just going to say that it is an unfortunate coincidence.

And now on to the indictment of sameness.

I think the main problem is that you are reading the evolution of the genre backwards. (Say WHAT?!) OK, so here's the thing: Judith McNaught, at the time A Kingdom of Dreams was published (circa 1989) was working off of existing themes and, believe it or not, moving them forward. By a couple of inches.

So Judith McNaught is, for lack of a better term, the dinosaur. She's the one you're supposed to read the first time, when you have no idea what the genre is about. And right about the time you realize that all of the stories have the same structure, you find Julie Garwood, and you are so frakking relieved that the relationship is no longer the central conflict that you do a little happy dance. And by the time you think it's time to read about "real" characters in a more modern setting, you move on to Linda Howard.

In other words yes, you did the whole thing backwards.

Now I'm not saying that that makes McNaught obsolete (or that it excuses Garwood's inexplicable move into bland modern suspense). Those of us who popped our romance cherries on them can still look back with some fondness, the way you look back with fondness on high school-- skipping over the bad parts mostly, and really really remembering the good times with nostalgia (McNaught's Double Standards, which I would never recommend to anyone, will remain on my keeper shelf forever).

There is an element of sameness in the genre, but it is not something that should be confused with lack of imagination by certain writers. Sorry, but the new definition of romance involves two people who are perfect for each other, and the fact that come hell or high-water, there will be a happy ending.

That in no way precludes interesting characters, plot scenarios, or outside the box thinking as to how exactly they are going to get there, which can be messy as hell.

And to be honest, even the whole virgin thing is out out out in modern romances, unless you can come up with a not-unreasonable explanation for a 28-year-old who has never had sex. Like, a real, rational reason.

On to recommendations for beginners.

I am going to maintain that ANY Julie Garwood is the perfect introduction for beginners in historical. There are only maybe three of hers that I am not completely enamored of, and they are wonderful without being overly dense. Moderns? Erin McCarthy seems to be kicking ass and taking names, especially in the real-world-not-all-the-same-scenario realm (and Lisa Kleypas, the mastress of sweet historicals has progressed herself into some seriously yummy contemps).

For me and paranormals, if you're not reading Kresley Cole, you're not living. Like, for reals.

OK, Mme Laliberte, the challenge is now to you. Name the genre you'd like, and I'll get you a title.

(And you can read it in the car with me on the way to Utah. WAHOO!)

Review- Heartless

There is something to be said for comfort and consistency. There is even something to be said for knowing exactly what you are getting, no matter how good or bad.

But sometimes, it all gets to be a little much.

Danielle Steel, old skool Elizabeth Lowell, and Diana Palmer all come to mind when someone mentions the same plot being retooled over and over and over again.

And so Diana Palmer's latest, Heartless, is really not a new release at all.

I have found (through a thoroughly unscientific study) that there are two types of Diana Palmer stories:

1. The hero and heroine (for whom there is always at LEAST an 8 year age gap) have known each other since she was jail bait and he was walking the line between perv and tormented male grappling with his inappropriate lust. They have lots of sex like, on her 18th birthday and then he leaves in a fit of conscience. She has a Secret Baby, he returns a decade later to find a mysterious 10-year-old child, who he assumes to be hers and not his, since she *clearly* turned into a huge slut following his abandonment. Big Misunderstandings, Reconciliation Sex, and Vague Threats to the Heroine's Safety ensue.

2. The hero and heroine (for whom there is always at LEAST an 8 year age gap) have known each other since she was jail bait and he was walking the line between perv and tormented male grappling with his inappropriate lust. He leaves before they have a chance to do the horizontal mambo, and then comes back a decade later (after having been married, and possibly having a child) to find her Still Untouched, because she had nothing to do in the meantime but become a twenty-eight year old with zero sexual experience and no character evolution at all.

(Obviously these are both incredibly true to real life scenarios. Obviously.)

So where to begin? In Heartless the hero and heroine (I don't even know their names, to be honest) were formerly step-brother and step-sister, he left, got engaged to a bitch who was mean to his step-sister, and then came back when his engagement was broken and the heroine was facing Imminent Danger. There's a Big Reunion, lots of weepy, talky sex (she does have negative amounts of experience after all, but he swears to make it "good for her") and then the danger resolves itself or something. Did I mention the fact that no more than 5 book-time minutes (read: 30 reading-time seconds) after the emotional sexxoring, he announces that she is probably pregnant? "It only takes once" aside, um... are we still being that stupid in 2009? Really??

I'm not sure what is worse: the fact that 20+ books all fit into the two categories above, or the fact that the characters have not even bothered to be brought into modernity over the period of time it has taken to write said books. Or the fact that the next time a Diana Palmer book comes out, I'll probably pick it up at the library anyway (on no Keeper Shelf will they be put) just to make sure that everything is still the same.

Because like I said, there is something vaguely comforting about that.


Rating:
Plot- -1 (the fact that I predicted the whole thing to KBoog after reading the book jacket... BAD)
Characters- .25 (were there any characters? I'm pretty sure they couldn't be picked out of a lineup)
Sex- .75 (warm, but rehashed from every previous book)
Style- .25 (Basic basic basic)
Consumption- 1 (I guess... I read all I needed to read in the library in 10 minutes)


TOTAL- 1.25

Characters welcome?

Well - I have to concur that the characters compel me to finish a story far more than any plot ever will. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate a well told story, and will enjoy the clever twists an author can infuse: Sandra Brown's "Envy" anyone? But the characters keep me until the end - whatever it may be. I am gloriously involved with the "...In Death" series that J.D. Robb so brilliantly pens. Some of the plots are less intense than others, but I have come to look at the characters as old and comfortable friends. I genuinely care for Eve and Roarke and have come to care equally for the series regulars. Even the coroner, Morris, got his own story and, heartbreaking though it was, we were given a here-to-fore- unseen glimpse into the person behind the spiffy clothes and the great hair. While the plot lasts only as long as the book, the characters live on. (Dare I bring up Gone With The Wind, Kate? We all want to know what happened to Rhett and Scarlett. Do we really care about the restoration post Civil War? nah!)

The Plot's The Thing (oh, wait...)

Over dinner last night, an intriguing discussion came up, leading to a further intriguing discussion that will take place... Here.

While talking about the wonderful (non-trashy) book The Sweetness At the Bottom of the Pie, I was noticing that a lot of people who had read it had a lot of trouble finishing it, myself included. I liked the book, would go so far as to say that I loved the book, and will definitely read its inevitable sequels.

But I still had to force myself to sit down and finish it.

So I've decided that it has everything to do with characters versus plot: when you love both, it's easy to sit down and read the book, no problems, no questions, no hesitation. When one of those elements is askew, things get a little more difficult. In Sweetness, I adored the characters, but didn't care one way or the other about the plot and its mysterious resolution.

I have a feeling this particular scenario is symptomatic of series: you come to know and love the characters, and eventually you can get tired of the plot. Or vice-versa.

A specific example of this in Romancelandia? Every Stephanie Laurens novel I have ever tried to read. For the record, I have picked up probably 10 of her books over the past five years and have only managed to finish two: Captain Jack's Woman (a personal favorite) and The Promise in a Kiss (though to be honest, I now cannot tell you what that one is really about). I always like the characters and don't mind the plot, and never stop reading the books on purpose-- there is no deliberate "This book sucks, I'm going to read something else."

At some point I just stop reading, and literally cannot compel myself to finish.

So here's the question: when only one thing can be good (plot or characters) which is the MOST IMPORTANT one to get the book reading finished? For me, it's got to be the characters every time. If I don't care about them fully and completely, there is no possible way for me to finish the book. While I may have liked Laurens' characters well enough, they didn't compel me past what I considered to be pretty bland plots. On the other hand, Flavia De Luce and the remarkable characters around her were the only things that got me through to the end of Sweetness.

... discussing

Kate will say that every book I read is like the first time. I am constantly purchasing books I already own because I don't remember the plot or the main characters names. So my choice may be rather skewed.

I have to say, that I agree with Kate in that many of my current "favorite" authors have developed writing styles that improve with time (exception: Jude Deveraux - what's up with her lately? And have I already asked that?)

So, for the book I would like to experience "a-new" all over again, I have to harken back a long time to a favorite read, re-read, re-re-read. M.M. Kaye's Shadow of The Moon. The intensity of the history detailed in the Indian uprising and the intelligence of the hero (whose name, I DO remember, is Alex) make it more than just a romance novel. And the end of the book still clutches my heart.

The book is no longer in print and the copy I own was borrowed from my local amazing library and subsequently lost, so I paid for my negligence. I have since found it and it assumes a place of honor on the bookshelf in my living room.

I'd lend you my copy to read, but it's kind of a treasure!

Discussion Time!

Over at the better, smarter, funnier website, they have incited a discussion about Books You Would Like to Rediscover. You know, the ones that were so good you wish there could be some sort of strategic, Sydney-Bristow-like precision memory erasing so that you could pick it up and be thrilled, amused, heart-broken, and overheated all over again, in the way only a first-reading can accomplish.

So that got me thinking, what would my first choice for that be? To be sure, every Kresley Cole EVER with the exception of maybe two. I still remember the first time I picked up her first books. I have no idea what made me do it (Amazon rec, author quote on the book...?), but I knew by the time I had finished Captain of All Pleasures (no snickering!) that I had discovered a new "favorite author." A lot of writers take a while to hit their stride (Hi, Linda Howard and Sandra Brown. What's going on?), but once they get there, they nail it (pun... yep, pun intended). Kresley Cole had it down on the first go, which speaks volumes about the quality of her work since and in the future.

Oh look, I've digressed! ALL of that aside, when I talk about a book I wish I could un-remember for the joy of reading it *again for the first time*, Guardian Angel by Julie Garwood is the only correct answer.

As a heroine, Jade rocks my world, what with all the lying and the stealing and the incredible ability to fool anyone she has ever come across, with the sole exception of the Marquess of Cainewood (or so he would really, really like to think). The story progesses merrily along, and you think you know "the answer" because everyone in the whole book is so sure of it themselves-- Jade's brother Nathan is the notorious Pirate Pagan who killed Caine's brother (although there is definitely A Misunderstanding there) and Caine has to decide how he's going to keep Jade even after he kills her brother.

And then Uncle Harry shows up.

Look, I'm not going to get into the glorious 100+ page sequence in which Nathan strolls into Cainewood to find Caine threatening his sister, in which Sterns hides the silver under the bed, in which Harry carries Caine's stepmother out of the house with the sure knowledge that "Caine would want me to have her!" but it needs to be said that nothing can make me smile harder, laugh louder, or jump up and down in my seat quite like Guardian Angel. And that's after at least 10 readings.

I remember distinctly the moment that scene reached its pivotal moment... because a neighbor came over to insist that I come swimming. I went to the pool, but never got in. There was no way I was putting that book down.

So Wendy... you're up ;)

Gently finding my way back

Okay, so there appears to be some time in my days that wasn't available to me as recently as a week ago. I will take advantage of it. I'm in "Comfort Food" mode and reading Jude Deveraux's Sweet Liar. I need to remark on the fact that in the past few years I have given up on her books. I just can't seem to understand what or why she's writing. But I digress. Sweet Liar takes us back to her wonderful Taggerts and Montgomerys. As I have not finished the book (this time around) yet, I can only remark on my observations so far. It still holds up! Sam and Michael still appeal, and the story has meat. The heroine, Samantha, starts off wishy washy enough, but soon Michael (did I mention he's a Taggert?) brings out some very charming qualities and I am delighted by her spree in the bookstore - because who wouldn't like to be told that whatever books they could pick out in x number of minutes would be theirs to keep? The whole concept of the reenactment of a massacre is a bit overdone, but it gets us more familiar with other characters (who will eventually get their own books) and sets up the end of the story nicely. I'll let you know when I finish, and maybe I'll have time to read something a little meatier next time.

Which Came First- The Plot or the Prophecy?

A small note before I get started: I just discovered Kindle for iPod Touch, and it is the most dangerous thing I have ever encountered in my entire life. Ebola and Lady Liberty on whiskey included. First of all, the app is free, so all you need is an iPod Touch, which happens to be at least twice as functional as a Kindle anyway (Kindle: Books. iPod Touch: Music, Videos. Twice as functional). So all of my favorite books, you know, of the trashy romantic variety, are available for less than $10 and sometimes for less than $5. Plus there's the whole delivered-wirelessly-in-the-blink-of-an-eye thing. Lo and behold, Ms. Jones has fallen into lust with an inanimate object.

So this Kindle thing rocks, because I can buy books that I don't want to physically own (but want to read anyway) at a fraction of the cost. And I don't have to waste valuable bookstore time trying to remember the title of That Book I Told Myself I Would Not Forget.

Which brings me to The Nightwalkers series and its first book, Jacob (I'm really not reviewing the book or my problem with the fact that the title is a name. Not going there). In theory this is one of my favorite kinds of romance with my favorite kind of conflict. Jacob is a Demon (supernatural/magic: check), whose sole job it is to be The Enforcer, demonkind's own sheriff counteracting Violence Against Humans (male in natural protector/military role: check). Part of his job? To make sure that there is no demon/human sexing of any kind. You see it coming, don't you? One night he encounters a human female (heroine as excellent intellectual librarian: check) and falls madly into lust/love/pheromone/gene induced obsession (forbidden love: check check check). The writing is so-so (read better, read way worse), the sex is OK (read waaaaaay better. Actually, wrote better), and the strictures of the world created by the author are slightly unclear, but since there are at least 3 characters who will obviously have books of their own, we'll get there eventually.

And now we come to the source of this little post and the title thereof: Which came first, the plot or the prophecy? Jacob and His Woman, Isabella (I kid you not) are the subject of a prophecy about The Enforcers how their kids will start a new generation, etc. etc. etc. Here's the prophecy:

The Demon. The Druid. And all will be returned to the state in which it all began. Purity restored... An Enforcer will be born and reach maturity as magic once more threatens the time, as the peace of the Demon yaws toward insanity. The Enforcer will be born to hunt the Transformed, will have the power to destroy, to walk unscented... This Enforcer's thoughts will be sealed except to Kin and Mate, will walk the Demon path in body and soul, though never born to it.

Now, let's review: They meet and then she magically kills one of the Transformed when she is attacked. Jacob has just spent the past 78165 Kindle pages (they're really small on the iPod!) talking about how "Bella" (grrrrrr) is so pure, absorbs scents, and how they keep getting more and more mentally connected until they are... practically telepathic? But only with each other. Gee whiz, I wonder who the prophecy is about!

Call me crazy (go ahead... I'll wait) but to me a prophecy should not be written almost word-for-word to the characters and situation. Like, there should be enough ambiguity that it is at least possible that someone had misinterpretted something, somewhere along the line. I get it; if it's a prophecy then it's "going" to come true, and there will be people who fit it perfectly. But with the exact wording? Really?

I'd like to bring forth my friend J.R. Ward who at least hears what I'm saying. Two things: In Lover Eternal, V has a premonition that has something to do with Rhage and His Woman. I don't quite recall the context, but it has something to do with a virgin. Rhage's Woman (I mean, Mary) is not a virgin, so Rhage gets confused. Turns out Mary's mother named her after... All together now!... The Virgin Mary. Also, Lover Revealed has Butch and some scary Other recruit vying for position as the Ultimate Weapon of or against The Omega. Both of them are the same age, have the same(-ish) backgrounds, physical markings, etc. and the prophecy is ambiguous enough that it really could be either of them. Really. Except (SPOILER ALERT:) it's really Butch.

What have we learned today? Prophecies are great. And so are oracles. But for the love of Delphi, make it interesting, make it count, and don't make us think you just re-read your book to write them.

THE HERO- Discussion Post

I imagine this will be an ongoing thematic discussion here at Novel Idea, because the ideal of the perfect hero is completely changeable depending on mood, situation, and... mood and situation. I can't speak for every romance reader ever (though I will pretend I can), but which author you're reading, who the book is about (characters) and the plot (CIA dude? Rakish pirate?) can all determine what you are looking for in a particular hero at any given time.

Wendy Pan kindly loaned me two of Erin McCarthy's latest, Hard and Fast and Flat-Out Sexy (stop snickering!) and it occurred to me that the heroes of these books (it's a series, too!) are nothing to write home (or blog) about, but they are solid, dependable, sexy men dripping with testosterone. In fact, McCarthy seems to go out of her way to make the point that men in any field other than racing (her male characters' chief occupation) are losers who can't find their way around female anatomy. But I digress.

The point is that if you're looking for anything but an uber alpha-male (of which there are varying degrees, by the way), you're in for a world of disappointment. I contend that the only real variation is the female herself, and the way she acts and interacts with the hero. Discuss.

Anyway, time for The Novel Idea's first Top Ten List! My top 10 heroes ever, in order, because I can.

9. John Medina (All the Queen's Men, Linda Howard)- Falls so hard for the woman he can't have that when he's finally in the same room with her, he can't help but ask her to put herself in all kinds of unnecessary danger. Then when they're in the thick of it, he can't help but rip her clothes off anyway. Manipulative? Sure. But anytime a book ends with the girl joining the guy in the field (as spy, vampire hunter, etc .) and not at home waiting around is OK by me.

8. Jack Travis (Smooth Talking Stranger, Lisa Kleypas)- OK, so he's new (the book only came out in March) but the evolution of the alpha-hero to the point that he recognizes he's a bit of a psycho? In fact, I think the passage goes something like:

"There are about ten things I want to say to you right now, and at least nine of them make me sound like a complete psycho."

"What's the tenth thing?"

"Nope. That pretty much makes me sound like a psycho, too."

Gives all of us neo-feminists the satisfaction of knowing he recognizes the way possessive men sound, but let's us know he's feeling it anyway.

(And let's not forget the parking garage. Ever.)

7. The Marquess of Cainwood (Guardian Angel, Julie Garwood)- An old-school romance hero of yore, Caine takes the news that his beloved is a pirate with aplomb (and then beats the crap out of her brother.) Extra points for always coming to get her no matter how many times she runs away, and for passing out when the baby is born. And for putting up with Sterns.

6. Harrison MacDonald (For the Roses, Julie Garwood)- Two Julie Garwood characters in a row, I know, I apologize. But Harrison does the classic "lie to the heroine about who he is and why he's there," and we still love him more than words can express. Why? Because he beats up the Clayborne brothers like he's a member of the family, produces the best murder defense this side of Johnny Cochran, and he's a frakking Scottish Cowboy. I don't think I need to add anything else.

5. Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)- Those of you who read this post from its inception know that I was initially leaving Angel off the list because he appears on TV, not in romance novels. Justification for adding him now? Ready, steady, go: On Amazon, the Buffy graphic novels for "Season 8" appear on the "Romance Bestsellers" list. So there. I'm breaking my own rules, but if Stephenie Meyer can do it in her bestselling series, I can do it in this tiny post that no more than 10 people will read. Anyway, Angel. All tormented and angsty, all brooding, soul-and-not-sex-having Angel. Loves her more than his life, leaves her before he ruins hers, and still manages to pop over from his spin-off series when it matters most. Plus him trying to "save" Joyce from Spike is one of the funniest scenes of the series.

4. Zane Mackenzie (Mackenzie's Pleasure, Linda Howard)- In a world populated by Mackenzies, it's difficult to make a choice between them, but for me it's got to be Zane. Every. Time. He is a bit of a retreat from the more evolved hero (he drags her off in the night to elope, and she doesn't seem to do... anything), but there's something about a Navy Seal and showing up at your door to announce that you're getting married that gets me every time. Perhaps it could be argued that Zane would be a better hero if he had been given a better heroine? I'm just saying.

3. Conrad Wroth (Dark Needs At Night's Edge, Kresley Cole)- Heinous title aside, Conrad Wroth is one of my favorite heroes from the Immortals After Dark series, and among the crowd that includes Cadeon Woede, Lachlain MacRieve, and, well, the rest of the Wroth Brothers, that's saying something. Maybe it's my own personal weakness for tormented heroes, but Conrad's bloodlust and insanity is off the hook. No matter how far he comes with the help of the lovely Néomi, he's always dangling on the precipice of losing his mind. The fact that even at the end of the book he is not completely recovered speaks volumes for him as a character and Cole as a writer, for not insisting that everything end perfectly in a neat little bow. Plus there is that shower scene. Hot. Damn.

2. Derek Craven (Dreaming of You, Lisa Keypas)- Derek Craven, up-by-the-bootstraps, from-the-gutter gaming club owner in Regency London, falls for a bookish researcher who is stalking his club to talk to his whores about the World's Oldest Profession. He saves her from assault after she saves his life, and then he proceeds to do everything in his power to get the hell away from her, knowing that her life would be better without him in it. Finally capitulating after she is assaulted again (yes, she gets a bit old, but she's perfect for him), they wed and live happily ever after, with Derek still realistically living on the edge of what he used to be.

1. Derek Sutherland (Captain of All Pleasure, Kresley Cole)- OK so Derek is the go-to name for tormented heroes. We get it. Another Cole hero, another frakked up gentleman. Derek Sutherland is married, an alcoholic, reprobate, deadbeat. And then he encounters the magic hoo-hoo and all is well. But all kidding aside, Derek is perfect in his torment-- he loves her to the point of insanity, can't eat, can't sleep, can't think when they're not together, and then completely turns his life around when they are. Love. Him.

This was actually a stunningly painful list to put together, mostly because for every memorable alpha-hottie there are ten "who the frak is this guy and why is he such a" freaks. And all the guys in between. So it's my Top 9. Which you should be grateful to have anyway.

Review- Mr. Perfect

In the spirit of last week's discussion, I revisited an old favorite, Linda Howard's Mr. Perfect, over the long weekend.

Of course, it only took Monday afternoon to finish it, but that is neither here nor there.

The concept is simple: four friends sitting around drinking after work come up with the list of things that would make a man Mr. Perfect. Before long, people at work get ahold of the list, start emailing it, and it becomes an internet and news sensation. The ladies then start getting threatening phone calls, and Someone Starts Killing Them.

The book focuses on Jaine Bright, a... er... bright thirtysomething with three broken engagements behind her, who just bought a house next door to the hottest cop in books since Marc Chastain. Or Dane Hollister. Linda Howard writes hot cops. But I digress.

The banter is joyous, the sex really good, and he's a cop, so he saves her from the Big Bad, all while admiring her Dad's precious car and helping her take care of her mother's cat. Talk about Mr. Perfect.

The real refreshing thing about Mr. Perfect, though, is it is the first time I have a real memory of liking the heroine and relating to her, flaws in all (subsequent Howard heroines, in fact, possibly all except Milla Edge, have not fared as well). Jaine is sarcastic, swears like a sailor, jumps into situations without thinking, has realistic relationships with her siblings, and a successful career that she does not even discuss giving up when she meets Sam Donovan. They snap-crackle-pop their way through the proceedings and then live happily ever after. And not that cheesey happily ever after, the kind where she occasionally threatens him with a butcher knife when he makes PMS jokes.

Plot- .5 (gutsy to kill half of the ladies, but I've read it so many times I don't remember if the killer is predictable or not)
Characters- 1+ (Jaine and Sam are among my favorite couples)
Sex- 1 (there's not a lot, but it's good)
Style- .5 (typical Howard, but with more curses, because Jaine has a potty mouth)
Consumption- 1 (did I mention I read it in an afternoon?)

TOTAL- 4+

Wendy Pan:

Okay, so not fair! Marc Chastain is, like, the all time sigh guy! He kept it on while he was dancing, HELLO! That being said, Sam is right up there. The whole scene where they are washing the car... nice. Can't disagree with you about any of it. Really like the relationship Jaine has with her girlfriends, all real people and real friends who also happen to work together. But I have to disagree about your plot score - really - the end is so not what you expect! (And I do remember that!) Gonna give that a 1, so I'm coming up with a total of 4.5+

Kate:

No hijacking my review. Write your own.

Discussion Continued-- The Kinks are worked out! (No, the band didn't go to the gym... nevermind)

WENDY PAN:
Okay - so why is it that when the heroine loses her virginity it's always a glamourous and wonderful adventure? Where is the fear, the pain, the mess?


Oh - maybe I'm talking about my first blog publication. I am being hounded by Kate Jones to contribute to this space and I make the effort with the humble knowledge that while I taught her all I know, she far surpasses me in talent. I think when I was her age I had the wit and wisdom to be creative, but I seriously doubt my ability to hold my own in this, our joint post.

So, I'm supposed to make witty reparté about lame heroines? The pressure is on. There was a time when I was enthralled with anything Jude Deveraux wrote and equally Joanna Lindsey. Not so much now. The heroines kind of remind me of the uncomfortable feeling I would get when I watched "I Love Lucy." You just KNEW Lucy was going to screw up and get in trouble and it was going to take the rest of the show for Ricky to figure it out and for them to get kissy face and get over it. I understand the concept of conflict - God knows it exists every day in real life - but do these women seriously have to create ways to be idiots?

Part of my thrall may have been based on a lack, in my own life, of the kind of "romance" that I read about in my favorite books. I have since learned that the fantastical romance I sought escape to, in the pages of comfortable trash, is so far from real life that it actually feels uncomfortable.

So, lame heroines are the ones that have to resort to any kind of subterfuge to attract the man of their dreams, or even the villain who later becomes the hero (Whitney My Love?) And those who think that when the initial bloom of romance is gone they have lost their man to a rival (The Black Lion).

A real heroine - whose character is to be applauded - is the one who is who she is and never needs to make things up to get her guy. But - if she does have to make things up, it's only to protect her man (Lyon's Lady, Guardian Angel). The one with enough guts to enjoy the battle and the struggle - for the reward of endless devotion from the man who sees beyond the tough exterior to the puddle of mush inside (J.D. Robb's Eve Dallas).

KATE:

Well Wendy Pan, thank you so much for joining us! No more putting down your own ability to repart-- any blog where we make up words like "repart" obviously has no standards of any kind.

I was waiting for you to bring up Eve Dallas, a difficult female character who finds a dude who, as you say, finds the puddle of mush inside. It makes the heroes better (sexier, more likeable, etc.) when they can see past the heroine's serious flaws (difficult, standoffish, badass warmonger, etc.) and like her anyway. This is the evolution of the "new" heroine, who the man adjusts to. Unlike in the earlier books you mentioned (everything, ever by Jude Deveraux), where it is up to the heroine to adjust and forgive and negotiate parts of her own personality.

Wendy Pan:

Okay, so what happened in society that made the weeping wimpy heroine so unacceptable now? And can any of us go back and be satisfied with Kathleen Woodiwiss again? I mean, Shanna... really? I think K.W.'s Ashes In the Wind gave us a better heroine - one more vibrant and less weepy, but the doctor actually fell for the sneaky cousin instead. Look how that ended!

I began reading trashy romance at the ripe old age of 17 (my grandmother's influence, if you can imagine) and Shanna was as hot as they got. (I won't say, "back in the day" but it's implied.) I worked my way over to Jude Deveraux and was truly, madly, deeply in lust with anyone whose last name was Montgomery. The women I could take or leave. They weren't why I was reading. I think Linda Howard changed my perception of the heroine. She made her women witty and bold. Jaine Bright - I mean, how great is she? And that Sam actually "gets" her at the same time he is perplexed by her? And that she drives a really cool car and that she's so not a wimp! Heroine evolution? God did not just create her, she has evolved. Her genetic roots can be tracked back to Lucy the fossilized hominid. And baby, look at her now!

KATE:

Funny, I'm a Taggert girl, myself...

Discussion- The Heroine Lameness Factor

And thusly begins our first discussion post.

I don't know exactly how this is going to work between the two of us, but I'm going to start in one color, and then Wendy Pan will respond in another color. Or something.

Let the Great Experiment Begin!

To open, I give a little background: This blog is largely inspired by another, more famous blog, nd the genius creators/writers of said blog recently published a book, from which our beginning discussions will originate.

So, one of the major breakdown/critical assaults (with love!) is about Trashy Romance Heroines, their archetypes, and how generally helpless they can be (except for a select few of our more mod ladies).

That said, here I am opening the discussion. Ready, steady, GO!

KATE:

I have two current paranormal series obsessions, one of them the aforementioned Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward, the other the Immortals After Dark series by Kresley Cole. Ward's prose is more heavy, the characters better developed, the drama more wraught. Cole's is lighter, fluffier, and just plain more fun. But I digress.

I prefer Cole's series for a number of reasons, the most important of which being that the women kick ass. Like, seriously. Kaderin the Cold Hearted is a badass warlord who collects the teeth of all the vampires she's killed. Mariketa the Awaited is the most powerful witch in a millenia who manages to fend of otherworldly threats just fine before her lykae shows up, thank you very much. Sabine the Sorceress of Illusions is a tormentor and torturer of epic proportions, and continues to be even after she is comfortably mated to the King of the Rage Demons.

By contrast Ward's heroines are always the secondary members of the book, they have identities of their own, but they don't really do anything... they have their moments of glory and then very quickly fade into the background at the Brotherhood takes precedence.

Now there is a time and a place for a complacent heroine (mostly in historicals), but if I'm talking about personal preference, I want my ass-kicking heroes to have ass-kicking femmes. Who's with me?

Review- Smooth Talking Stranger

Let me start this review by saying that books in the first person, particularly romances in the first person, make me especially nervous. Sometimes it's good (hello, Linda Howard and your should-be-annoying-former-cheerleader, Blair!), and sometimes it's very, very bad (let us not delve too deeply into my post-Twilight hate fest. But seriously). Anyway, risky risky risky proposition, especially in a genre new to the author.

Ladies (and gentlemen?), may I please bring your attention to Lisa Kleypas and her new, first person contemporary romances, the latest of which is Smooth Talking Stranger.

For the ease of this writing, I am going to refer to them as the Travis Series, although I'm not sure Kleypas is actually designating them as such.

These books have focused on the wealthy Houstonian Travis family, whose men are men, and whose women are pretty gutsy too. The reason I hesitate to name them as the Travis series is because in three books (no, it's not a trilogy, there is very obviously at least one more book to come) is because the first person is always the heroine, and so far only one of those women has been a Travis herself.

In Smooth Talking Stranger, Ella Varner tells us about how one day her mother called her up to say that her emotionally unstable sister has just birthed and abandoned a baby boy. Ella reluctantly rushes to the scene, determined to save not so much her mother as the baby from her mother, and sets about trying to find the baby's father. You know, to take responsiblity and pay, etc. etc. etc.

Enter Jack Travis, suspected daddy #1, and fortunately it's established very early that he did not, in fact, impregnate Ella's sister. Fortunate, because who wants a heroine who takes her sister's sloppy seconds?

Jack graciously helps Ella find the man who did father the baby, falls in love with Ella, deals with her emotional baggage, loves the baby, blah blah blah.

Trite Harlequin concept? Probably. But for some reason, possibly that pesky first person account, I was completely riveted. I wanted to know why Jack was so keen to help Ella, I wanted to know what was going to happen with the sister and her dirty preacher babydaddy, and I wanted to know when Jack and Ella were going to get naked. Which they eventually did. Several times. And it was great.

It's light and fluffy, but not silly or unreadable by any stretch of the imagination. If I had to register one complaint, it would be about the first person narration. And not because it doesn't work, but because it does work, and I found myself wanting to know what was going on in that uber-sexy head of Jack's, not just Ella's. When there's a sexy Alpha-Male in the house, third person omniscient is the way to go.

Plot- 1 (potentially lame, but well delivered)
Characters- .5 (not a whole lot of time spent developing Ella before Jack shows up, which was a staple of the first two books in the series)
Sex- 1+ (parking garage. And then after the parking garage... whew)
Style- .5 (really, really wish Ella's wasn't our only perspective)
Consumption- 1 (considering I read it in less than a day... yeah)

TOTAL- 4+

How This Is Going to Go Down: A Post

So, to be clear, there are actually TWO people writing this blog, although one of them has chosen to be MIA until sometime next week. In the meantime, here's how this SHOULD work on a week-to-week basis.

Wendy Pan and I will each post a review of a book, either that we have just finished, or that we finished a decade ago and want to write about, or that we are currently reading and are extremely in love/annoyed with.**

Then once a week we will have a "discussion" in which we pass a given topic back and forth like a beach ball. Only it probably will not go on that long, since neither of us is very coordinated.

So I'm going to hold up my end of the deal and write another review for this week, and then hopefully we'll start writing right along next week. Or in July. But we'll see.




**A minor disclaimer: If we are that in love with the book, we might not want to put it down long enough to write about. Sorry.

The Grading System. How it Works, What it Means

Here's how this is going to work.
At the end of each review, we are going to grade each book based in five areas.

1. Plot- Feasibility within the book's own mythology, whether it made sense, etc.
2. Characters- No idiots/helpless heroines welcome.
3. Sex- It better be worth it.
4. Style- Appropriate to what the author was aiming for... or what we think the author was aiming for.
5. Ease of Consumption- How much fun was this to read? Or wasn't it?

BONUS POINTS: Only our favorite authors can get bonus points. They are our faves, and we will follow them to the ends of the earth... but they can also lose extra points for copping out and not living up to their full potential.

Each of the above is worth 1 point. The best a book can do is 5 plus Bonus Points. Worst is -1. Yes, -1... you can lose points for being that bad.

Review- Lover Avenged

Let's face it: there are Vampire Books and there are Vampire Books. There are the Anne Rice kind, the ones with orgies and gory bloodsucking and in-depth mythologies that cannot help but grow tiresome. And then there is lightweight drivel like Twilight, in which the vampires voluntarily give up that which they need most (you know... human blood) and don't generally adhere to any vampiric precept.

I find that most of the time I need something somewhere in between those two extremes. Thank goodness, then, for J.R. Ward and the Black Dagger Brotherhood series.

Lover Avenged, the seventh installment, follows already familiar characters, but focuses primarily on Rehvenge aka The Reverend, the pimp/drug dealer/club owner/sociopath who we have come to know and... love? fear? in previous chapters of the saga. While not exactly a member of the Brotherhood, his ties are close enough (his sister is married to one of the more dangerous warriors, they all hang out in his club, etc.) , and they all respect him while guarding his illegal (in both the human and vampire worlds) secrets.

Rehvenge, apparently, is half sympath, Ward's made-up genetically determined race of sociopaths. In Rehv, the sympath and vampire sides vie for dominance to the point that he keeps himself... er... doped up on dopamine to numb out his more dangerous tendencies. Naturally when he meets The One, a nurse named Ehlena, his vampire tendencies become so dominant his sociopathic urges can no longer compete. I think. But more on that later.

Like all of the Brotherhood books, the romance is not even close to the point of the book. There are three main story arcs; that of Rehv and Ehlena, one following Wrath, King of the Vampires and the head of the Brotherhood, and one following John Matthew, a constant and constantly conflicted Ward presence since Book 2. The thing is, that these all manage to flow together, and beautifully. At times I didn't even want to hear about Rehv and Ehlena, because I was so caught up in all of the other things that were going on.

This is typical Ward. These books cannot be read out of order because the ongoing arcs are so massively developed in each successive book. Issues from Book 3 are still being worked out in Book 7, and if you missed even a step, you're in a whole lot of trouble in terms of catching up.

My only complaint about Lover Avenged is that, as weird as it sounds for a book that is 544 pages long, the ending is rushed. I'm not sure exactly how Rhev is going to handle his new drug-free existence, or if he even is, and I really wish he and Ehlena had had a bit more time to sort things out between them, rather than about 12 hours. All I'm saying is, as much as the other story arcs are great and wonderful and perfect, maybe a bit more attention could have been paid to the subjects of the book.

Rating:
Plot- 1 (Complex and titillating... But I'm not sure about Xhex and John Matthew)
Characters- 1 (If there was any more character, we'd all be in trouble)
Sex- 1+ (Rehv and Ehlena, Wrath and Beth... my goodness, is it warm in here?)
Style- 1 (any scene with V and Lassiter is worth the price of purchase)
Consumption- .5 (takes a while to flow, but once it does, watch out!)

TOTAL-4.5+

Here We Go

So, this is a blog where me (Kate) and my mom (Blogger Name TBD) will write about the books (mostly trashy, sometimes not) that we read.  We'll rant and rave and cause a general ruckus.  It'll be fun!