Well Now I'm Really Grumpy.

"You are my heroine. And by heroine I mean 'lady hero'. I don't want to inject you and listen to jazz."

-Liz Lemon

So I had this lovely post about romance novel heroines written, and then Blogger had a freakout and now it's gone. And I'm sad. Actually, I'm really sad because it was a kick-ass post.

I haven't read any books since Dead End Gene Pool, and it might be early next week before I finish another one. So instead of writing another boring review of... something... I think it's time we talk about heroines. Back in the day I wrote a Top Ten Heroes post (that ended up containing only nine heroes), but I've spent very little time talking about heroines.

Devotees will know that I am in the process of writing a romance novel (or twelve) in my spare time (read: never). The personality and strength of my main heroine, Lyla, is something I am terrified of getting wrong. Because it is ridiculously easy to go very, very wrong.

It could be argued that The Heroine is the most important character in the book, because in 99.9% of books the majority of the story's POV will be on her. Great strides have been taken to give the hero greater perspective in recent years, but the focus is still mostly on the heroine. And thank goodness, because the only thing worse than a flaming jackass hero is a too-stupid-to-live heroine.

Because I'm writing a heroine (or twelve) I have very definite ideas about what she should and should not do. She should not be (too much of) a bitch, but she should not be a spineless nitwit. And by all that is good and holy, if the hero is being a flaming rat bastard, she should not sit around pining and waiting for him to get over himself. Is he The One? Presumably-- he is The Hero, after all. But that doesn't mean that she can't go out and date and have fun without him. And if she does go out and date and have fun, he shall not come back from rat-bastardom and announce that she has been a slut while he was away.

Examples my heroine will NOT be following are:

*Any Diane Palmer heroine, ever. Seriously... speaking of putting up with rat-bastardom to excess...

*Most Sandra Brown heroines, who seem to be born lacking an "honest conversation" gene

*Sarah from Sarah's Child (the dude you're in love with asks you to get an abortion? Dealbreaker!)

*Lauren from Double Standards (grow a damn spine and stop being the pawn of every man in your life. Also, get yourself a "person." She'll make you stop acting like an idiot)

From past experience, I know I'm going to need a few days (or at least a 2 hour ride in the car to Scout Land) to formulate my Top Ten list. Know this: it will include Sydney Bristow. While I acknowledge that she is not a romance novel heroine, she is still a heroine, has romance, and is one of the models for how I want to live my life (minus all of the deceit, dead friends, and dead fiances).

I'll let you think over the weekend too. Because this here is going to be a proper discussion on Monday morning. Dig?